Wednesday, 2 December 2015

HUMOUR AND A LITTLE LIGHT RELIEF

SHORT ʼn SWEET
A Sunday school teacher was speaking to a group of four-year-olds about Jesus, Joseph and Mary. After the lesson the kids were to draw a picture depicting their favourite part of the story. The teacher shared the pictures the children drew with the entire class. She got pictures of the Baby Jesus in the manger with animals, she got pictures of the three wise men and the like.
Then she got to a picture from little Jimmy, a picture of an airplane with four people on it. She called Jimmy up to explain his picture. She told Jimmy that she could see Mary, Joseph and the Baby Jesus, obviously in their 'flight' to Egypt. She didn't understand why there was another man on the plane. Jimmy quickly explained, 'That's Pontius, the pilot.'
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A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17. "The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Several hands went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.
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ADAM'S RIB
In Sunday School, they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Sammy seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week, his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, 'Sammy
what is the matter?' Little Sammy responded, 'I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.’.’.
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A CORRECT ASSUMPTION
A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.
The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.
The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a hold ing cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the book-ing desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects. He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, Naturally... I assumed you had stolen the car."

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